April 3rd, 2009

So I’m in midst of planting my new garden, and while I love cooking from things I grew myself, I worry about some backyard pals that plague the area. Now, there is one pair of particularly cheeky squirrels who I call Chip and Dale. Yes, I am aware that Chip ‘n Dale are chipmunks. But more important than their species is their love of mischief and hijinx. One of these backyard squirrels will sit right on my office window ledge and eat nuts in my face. He is a ballsy rodent. Would he be so brazen if he knew he is on my list of meat? Unfortunately, he is illiterate so my attemps to show him the list on my laptop have had no effect. If he digs up my vegetables, I’m going to go all Farmer McGregor on his ass.

Meanwhile, more disturbing is the appearance of this fat creature:

He has come by twice, and Mishka the cat is all for us taking a cue from this fellow and making a meal of him. Choices include “roast coon with sweet potato, sausage and corn bread stuffing; raccoon cobbler and roast marinated raccoon with liver and onion.” Um, cobbler? I don’t think so. I maintain my earlier position that Meat is not for dessert.

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